If pornography is a , when will they arrest makers of perfume? ~Norman Mailer 1923—2007 Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. Husband: - And what the dentist said? In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure. ~ John Barrymore When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave. Funny sex jokes - 6 year old A 6 year old boy asks his daddy: - Daddy, where did I come from to this life? I observed a vehicle traveling at a high rate of speed and verified it using radar. Tormentor of our younger sibling and somehow, peace keeper between the both of them. Bob Hope I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
~ Anon Vanity, revenge, , boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted. ~ Mark Twain It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is. A quote from a Kamasutra book. Ballard, News from the Sun, Myths of the Near Future, 1982 You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.
We call her the Tiny Chaperone. Nature does not grant it any functions. ~ Anon When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. Now my English is perfect but my sex life is rubbish. Samantha Jones, Sex and the City The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don't know how to screw you. ~Author Unknown I am always looking for meaningful one night stands. The Joke Party Game elevates your endorphins, amplifies your amusement, and improves your digestion.
~John Suckling My sexual preference is often. Presumebly, you're a grown woman, and this style of writing is not cute, not on you at least. . ~Isabel Allende Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best. True sex never fails as it is bondage between two souls that have come together. I can see no better reason for being alive. ~ Itsby Stevintary The difference between light and hard is that you can with a light on.
There was on his face a strange look, and I thought that so might a man look when he had died under the torture. Browse our sex quotes and sayings to find funny sex quotes, sex quotes by women, quotes about sex written by men and quotes from famous people and others. By signing up, you agree that you are over 18, a resident of the United States, and that we may process your information in accordance to these terms. Mindy Lahiri People seem to be having these awesome sex lives and I'm just trying to find a life partner to go apple-picking with. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.
~Woody Allen If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. John Barrymore You know that look women get when they want sex? If I am mad at someone, you are mad at them too. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence, 1919 Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. Mae West My wife is a sex object. ~ Billy Crystal Desire is in men a hunger, in women only an. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.
They sparkle twinkle and glow, they are the greatest gift our hearts will ever know. ~Bernard Poulin Don't do it behind the garden gate. ~William Osler The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it. I celebrate it, and relish the electricity of it, with every fibre of my being. Edgar Hoover Obscenity is whatever gives the Judge an erection. Love is our response to our highest values - and can be nothing else. Funny adult jokes - Unexpected Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison.
~John Barrymore It is not economical to go to bed early to save candles if the result is twins. Bernard Manning I blame my mother for my poor sex life. Shelia, if your going to admit your age, I suggest writing in a more age appropriate fashion. They begin the dance one day and finish it the next, or--such is the pleasure they experience--they may never finish it. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately.
~William Shakespeare One brings none of one's baggage to a one-night stand and that makes it possible to have, once in a while, extraordinary emotions. Without love, sex is meaningless and less fulfilling than in a loving relationship. ~ George Bernard Shaw I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty. ~ John Waters Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. A baby appears and father disappears.
You can change your mind at any time by clicking unsubscribe in the footer of any email we send you or by contacting. Hermione Gingold There are three sexes men, women, and clergymen. Linda Ronstadt Sex the poor man's polo. My legs are missing you in between them. Drew Carey Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software. ~ Anon I think I could fall madly in bed with you.